Coping Skills Toolkit

• Stop: freeze for a moment. Don’t act yet.
• Take a step back: breathe and give yourself some space.
• Observe: notice what is happening inside you and around you.
• Proceed mindfully: ask what will help, not what will make it worse.

1. Breathe in gently for a count of 4.
2. Breathe out slowly for a count of 6 to 8.
3. Keep going for 1 to 2 minutes.

• See: something calming, like a photo or the sky.
• Hear: a favourite song, or a few minutes of quiet.
• Smell: a candle, lotion or fresh air.
• Taste: a warm drink, sipped slowly.
• Touch: a soft blanket, a warm shower or a pet.

1. What happened? Stick to just the facts.
2. What am I telling myself about it?
3. Is there another way to see it?
4. Does my emotion, and how strong it is, fit the facts?

• Sad and want to hide? Open the curtains, reach out to someone, get moving.
• Anxious and want to avoid? Take one small step toward it.
• Angry and want to lash out? Step away and be gently kind.

• Look after physical illness.
• Eat regular, balanced meals.
• Avoid alcohol and drugs that change your mood.
• Aim for steady sleep.
• Move your body most days.

• Describe the situation, just the facts.
• Express how you feel, using “I” statements.
• Assert what you want, or say no clearly.
• Reinforce how it helps them too.
• Stay mindful of your goal, appear confident, and be willing to negotiate.

• Gentle: no attacks, threats or judging.
• Interested: listen and let them finish.
• Validate: show you understand their side.
• Easy manner: a little warmth or humour goes a long way.

1. Situation: what happened?
2. Feeling: name it and rate it from 0 to 100.
3. Thought: what went through your mind?
4. Evidence: what supports it, and what doesn’t?
5. Balanced thought: what is a fairer way to see it?
6. Re-rate: how strong is the feeling now?

• All-or-nothing: “I always mess up.”
• Catastrophizing: jumping to the worst case.
• Mind reading: “They must think I’m…”
• Should statements: “I should be over this by now.”
• Labelling: “I’m a failure.”

Noticing a trap is the first step. Then ask, “What would I say to a friend who thought this?”

1. List small activities that bring you enjoyment or a sense of accomplishment.
2. Plan one or two each day, even if you don’t feel like it.
3. Notice your mood before and after.

1. Name the problem as clearly as you can.
2. Brainstorm options without judging them.
3. Weigh the pros and cons of each.
4. Choose one and plan the first small step.
5. Try it, then look at how it went.